An Enemy with Benefits
by Silk-Woven-Bones
Summary: Dipper and Mabel have returned to the shack for another summer. A certain red-head finds out the college-bound male twin has failed to lose his virginity and helps fulfill his request and lose it FAST. NOT Wendy/Dipper. Contains mild blood, occasional foul language, and was originally posted on tumblr. One-shot.


(AN;) This is just a one-shot for the pairing RobbieXDipper (Robber/Ripper/ Dippie, whatever you should choose to call it, idk.) since we are severely lacking in it, Gravity falls fanfic in general. They are aged up to 18-21 so no underaged sex for the squeamish and as stated earlier, major RobbieXDipper, and later guilty DipperXWendy. Also, to set a little comedic tone down, There will be no sequel dealing with Dippers non-existent sexual confusion or magical vampire/zombie ass baby. Oh, and no silly words for dicks like pork log or blood embalmed happy stick. Fun fact before the story starts, Mabel's two minutes older than Dipper for those of you who don't know :D

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"Oh I just can't Belieeeeeeve this Dipper!" Mabel said with the child-like eagerness that survived the trials of her fleeting teenage years. She grinned and flaunted her pearly whites before continuing her spout of excitement. " We're going to college! IT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN! There's gonna be parties, cute guys and not to mention the cutesy animals there's gonna be for me to take care of!" As Mabel was off lovingly snickering at the near-by future, Dipper was pouting off to her side and folded his hands on the edge of his counter.

"Yea, but first we gotta get through one more summer with Grunkle Stan. " Mabel turned to her brother and plopped her head on the counter to get to his eye range.

" Heey, it won't be too bad, if anything it'll be nostalgia at it's finest." She stated poking him in the forehead. Only receiving a feeble glare. " What's wrong Dipper? Wait! I get it, this is about Weeeendy isn't it?" Dipper's face instantly dove into a bright gleam of red at the mere mention of her name.

"N-no!" His head rose up and stiffened up once his eyes left his twin from its vision.

"Dipper, I Thought you got over her aaaaaaaall those summers ago. And yes, I know it's upsetting to you that she's smooching it off with another dude, but there's gonna be other girls in college! And hey! There could be another girl right here in town!" Mabel said with fierce certainty. Dipper looked back at her and mustered up a small smirk.

"I know, all I gotta do is keep her outta my head."

"That's the spirit! Now come on, Soos is gonna watch the register while me and you take care of storage!" On spot, the door to the shop swung open and hit against the log walls. Sending off a quiet chorus of bells to accompany it. Mabel Switched her vision from her bro's temporary positivity to the door. " Right on time, hey So-" She stopped and stared for a second. "Wait, Wendy! Oh my goodness!" Dipper's face went pale, he scrambled from his chair and crashed backwards into the wall and fled under the small cub-space underneath the counter.

"It's so great to see you again!" Mabel said happily.

"Like-wise pip-squeak. Well..." Wendy came in and walked closer to her close on-line bud and stood close to her. "...I remember you being juuust below my knees the last time I saw you."

"Yep! The fun-dip sure doesn't disappoint!"

"So-" Wendy moved closer to the counter and climbed atop of it, keeping her head lifted. "I thought I saw a certain someone Behind the register..." Wendy worded slower the closer she pulled herself to the edge. Her hair fell in strands over the edge and her fingers gripped the wood tighter.

"SURPRISE!"

"AUGH!"

Dipper jumped and hit his head against the tough interior. Wendy laughed as Dipper rubbed the top of his head hidden by his beanie. "Suup Dorker. What cha' hiding under here for?"

"UH, I Uuuuugh waas just checking on the supports! Yeah! Uh, all legs good and sturdy! No splinters or anything!" As Dipper Nervously laughed while knocking on one of the legs, Wendy pulled herself off and climbed back from her spot. Dipper got up from beneath the desk and stood with the rest of the group.

"See your tastes in vests hasn't changed Marty Mcfly."

"Ah heh heh, yea, Still lookin' as awesome as usual." Dipper replied nervously tugging at the collar of his shirt.

"Well fall in line, I gotta gift for you guys. "

Mabel noticed the plastic bag that Wendy firmly grasped in her freckled pale hands. Dipper went around to the fount of the counter and let his brown curled hair fall closer to his face to hide any notion he was blushing. Wendy motioned for the twins to stand together.

"Okay, I know that both of you are leaving for college after summer and got you guys a little celebratory gift. Now, I expect you both to use them every time you hit home run. That, and I know the both are you in well versed in protecting yourselfs-" Mabel reveled the grappling hook hidden in the folds of her dress' pocket.

"Good job Mabel. But that's not exactly what I'm talking about. Close your eyes." The twins closed their eyes, Mabel Eagerly and Dipper frightened.

"Hold both your hands out." Their hands were presented to her and after the rustling of plastic was heard, both felt a small box fall into them. "Use em' wisely." The twins opened their eyes. Both where widely flabbergasted.

"Wendy!" Mabel accusingly shouted. "Holy crap. Omg. Omg. I can't believe you."

"You like em'?" The older twin's gasped expression turned back to its usual pleasant grin.

"Of COURSE!" While Mabel's Excitement was unquestioned, Dipper only looked at the box in horror. It was a box of condoms. For his and her pleasure. Whatever blush he had come back with a vengeance making his face twice as bright as before.

"Hey, you okay sport?" Wendy asked as Dipper looked quite uncomfortable. His eyes turned upward and his mouth soon shot into a grin.

"Okay! Yea! I Mean I mean I mean, I'm so gonna- use. These. And. With-" He continued to nervously spout miscellaneous words until he was shooshed by the box's giver.

" Hey hey hey, chill out. It's not that hard getting a good girl, and if you're the guys that waits, that's cool. Just don't forget your rubbers."

"W-why should I need them? I mean I know why, but it's not, like, I'm gonna do that with girls. I gotta concentrate on my studies!" Poker faces were never Dipper's strong point and were now working strongly against him.

"Why you acting so weird? You've been with a girl before, haven't you?" Then older teen begun to scoot back until he hit the card rack. He rubbed his shoulders and sighed.

" Yeah I've dated- But I...I never...really..with-But Mabel hasn't either!" Dipper shouted quickly in effort to change the subject.

"Uh, sorry, But-" He stared at Mabel and his expression read close to calamity. But she continued with a light giggle in her voice upon remembering the event. "But there, WAS a reason why Mom and Dad didn't let us go back to camp this year-"

"MARY BELLUM PINES I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!"

"Sorry! But things happen when your with the nicest boy you've ever me-"

"Don't elaborate on it."

"So what you're saying Dipper-" Wendy started to speak and leaned against the ceiling support. "Is that your still a virgin?" embarrassed and uncomfortable about the topic at hand, Dipper's vision lingered to the floor. Wendy placed her hand on his shoulder and gave a light smile. "Hey buddy, don't worry about it, it's no big deal going into college a virgin. I mean, plenty-no. Quite-um, still no, okay, how about this: If your really being brought down by it, I can set you up with a one-night stand." He yet to respond, but looked at her with uncertianty. Dipper looked over Wendy's shoulder and stared at Mabel. She was giggling like a maniac while she was reorganizing the name key chains and holding an oddly specific one in her hand.

" Can we talk about this in private?" Wendy nodded her head in agreement. The two took it to the living room of the Mystery Shack and stood towards the windows. Dipper was trying to calm himself down and was preparing his emotions for the conversation to come.

"Okay, are you absolutely sure you wanna lose your virginity ASAP?" Wendy asked with a serious expression.

"If it's such a big thing that's gonna keep getting in the way (socially), yes, as soon as possible ."

"Are you positive? You have the entire summer to try to find someone instead of having your first time be a one-night stand. That and no one ever has to know." Wendy asked with finality in her voice.

"Like hell I'm positive." Dipper said with the same fiery certainty his sister has.

"Alrighty then, lemme send a few texts and I'll have a friend over later tonight. Make sure you get Mabel and anyone else out of the house. But Stan's going into to town around 7 or 8 to do some 'late night rummaging' and one of us is gonna be stuck watching the shop so clearing us out shouldn't be too hard." Dipper nodded to the requests given out. But he was still prepping himself for something else. "Oh, and here's my number;" The red-head stated while quickly scribbling a number down on a crumpled piece of paper she had in her coat pocket and handing it to him. "I'll text you when someone's coming over-"

"Hey, uh, Wendy?"

"What is it?"

"I was. I was wondering if actually, you c-could. Be my first..." His sentence trailed off towards the end, but the words he needed to say were recognized. Wendy was caught off guard by this. Taking a few moments to think about the request. Was that a confession she finally got out of him? He knew she was able to tell something was going on since he started to try to impress her by doing various tasks when they were both younger. But a confession of this level was astounding for a guy with a back bone as fragile as a fish bone. It was heart breaking to tell him that there wasn't a possibility of that happening with the situation she's in right now. But 6 years was a horrible long time to have an unrequited crush.

"Dipper, I can-That's not how I...I'm in a relationship right now...you know that" Wendy meekishly reminded him. There was an awkward silence that filled the air once his name leapt from her tounge. It was easy to tell he was trying his damnest to keep his composure.

"Oh...Well, I guess it was worth a shot. And I was joking anyway!" Dipper tried to laugh it off. But he was mentally scolding himself harshly for even thinking she'd agree to the act.

"So ,um, good luck later tonight...if anyone's free I mean..."

"Yeah, I get it." Dipper had a feeling the coming night would not bode well.

And bode well, it did not _

Everyone working at the shack had joined Grunkle Stan on his rounds of rummaging through the town late at night to try to find mass-produced items he could scribble a face onto and sell for $5 a pop. Everyone had gone off with him besides Dipper and Mabel who were left behind to watch the shop. However as soon as they all left, Mabel was nowhere to be found until Dipper found a note explaining she sneaked into the car to get a free ride to town to give a surprise visit to some of her old friends after finishing moving some things in storage. Leaving him completely alone. All he had to do was wait for the person that the girl of his dreams that crushed his heart had sent him. It was nearing 9 o'clock and no notion was made, not even a text from her saying there were no takers. So he just took a seat in the couch in the living room and started watching whatever mundane show the old antenna piece of crap television could get. Even on the edge of tears he blankly stared at the flickering screen and after a while of staring at snow, let a few tears stream down his face. He hid his face in his sleeve and started mentally beating himself up. The insults he threw at himself would have gotten progressively worse had it not been for a knock coming from the front door. Quickly wiping his tears on his wrists, Dipper got up from the couch and went to answer it. He looked through the peephole before opening it to assure that a crazed psychopath wouldn't be at it and tear him to shreds to moment the door opened.

"Fucking hell..." Dipper unlocked the several locks decorating the door and swung it open to his displeasure to reveal his most hated enemy in the unannounced war that used to be to snatch Wendy's heart, Robbie. Only vile thoughts could pop into the young adult's brain, Robbie with his stupid skrillix hair cut, his stupid piercings, and his stupid jacket he always wore with noticeable tears going through it, possibly self done with a pair of scissors. "She isn't here right now if you're looking for Wendy-" Dipper was abruptly interrupted by a kiss on the lips given by the taller man.

" I'm not here for her." Robbie stated quickly, his voice sounding rough and a bit hoarse. " I'm here for you, let's get this shit done." He let himself inside and went for the stairs. The fuck was going on? Only pulling it from the kiss and the 'here for him' statement that he understood Wendy sent Robbie. He thought that last thought once more. WENDY. SENT. ROBBIE. Of all the people she could have sent, of all the assholes he met at Gravity Falls 6 years ago, for god sake, he'd take Lil' Gideon over this prick. Why couldn't have been the crazed psychopath he hoped it not be? Still in a daze, Dipper closed the door and re-locked it. Now he knew what the problem was, he wasn't descriptive. And he finally noticed that his rambles from earlier, analyzed the wrong way, came down to sound to the simple fact it sounded like he wasn't interested in women. Which he was sure was the complete opposite. But he couldn't just kick Robbie out and tell Wendy off, he's the one who sorta asked her in the fir-

" You coming or what!? We don't got all night!" Dipper turned his head towards the older man with a look of confusion.

"WAIT. Did Wendy send you?! What the hell!"

"With how you are, I don't expect you to get a girlfriend and screw her before summers up. I don't wanna do this anymore than you do, but I'm only doing it because she asked me to."

"I take it you're not gonna leave until this happens."

"Bet your ass I won't and I'm ONLY doing this cause Wendy asked me to and I owe her a favor. That means that after this, we never speak of it again, and this especially means were not going out." Dipper scoffed at this.

"Yeah, I'm well aware of what a one-night stand is."

"Just wanted to clear things up cause chicks get fucking clingy. God forbid you fall asleep in their bed. You wake up the next morning with them making breakfast for you and calling you 'pooky'." Robbie wasted no time and removed his jacket and threw it off to the side and casually show off his toned figure hidden beneath a loose-fitting shirt. He motioned for the younger one to come over and that's just what he did, to his own distain. His shoes patting against the wood and led up to Robbie, his eyes were half lidded and looked annoyed. Dipper couldn't help but analyzed how unchanged the man was from is younger years. He still had a noticeable amount of acne, facial hair that was always at a 5 o'Clock shadow, Pale skinned and riddened with what was probably permanent bags under his eyes. The only major difference being his hair which still kept its jet black color, has now been half-shaven off on the left side of his head spare for a lock that covered his temple, the right side grown out to shoulder length and covering up almost the entire right side of his face, but how it was parted and spiked reminded the younger one of a porcupine. The other thing being several new piercings; two eyebrow piercings above the left brow, the first a spike, the other a barbel, and spider bites.

"Whats the furthest you've ever you've ever gotten?" Robbie suddenly asked.

"W-what? why do you need to know that?"

"I'm trying to help out an old friend with that dying baby he calls his sex life-"

"You made it pretty sure you hated me the last time we met."

"Look, do you wanna have sex or not?"

" *Sigh* ...I've have a few kisses on the lips and touched a boob." Dipper said in a hushed tone, the ambiance causing him to grow smaller in will. Both their voices start to become silent. How Robbie managed not to burst out laughing will forever go unknown. But me smirked and pulled Dipper closer, placing his still gloved hands on the teen's cheeks. "Your face really does suit you-" Robbie pinched the boy's cheeks and snickered. " Just like a baby's." If it weren't for the taller of them pinching the shorter's cheeks into a smile, he would have a long scowl on it, but only the furrow of his brow and a soft growl could express it. But soon enough he stopped teasing and Planted his lips firmly back onto the younger teen's. It started out simple with the ease of just perking out their lips but was soon forced into open mouth and tounge play. The taste of Robbie's tounge was reminiscent of smoke and had an ashy taste to it that had disgusted Dipper at first but had promptly been ignored as his own probably didn't taste much better. Since the Railing post wasn't the best to lean against for support, Robbie pushed the two of them against the wall behind them. He now had to lean over to stay at Dipper's level so he moved his hands from the wall and wrapped them around the teen's waste and picked him off the ground. Noticing this, Dipper's hands scrambled to hold onto Robbie's shoulders, his legs then gaining leverage from pushing against a stair. The punk squeezed the city boy's thighs and further caught him off guard by placing the boy's lower lip between his teeth and bit down, hard. Dipper's body flinched and tightened up as a whimper of pain escaped him and tears welled up again. Robbie started sucking at the wound and tasting the liquid iron that almost had a spicy taste to could tell the older teen was enjoying it as his own blood was almost flooding from his lip, a lovely solo of strained whimpers and scattered squeaks making him smirk. Small Speckles of blood dropped onto both of their shirts, staining them both. After a few moments, Robbie pulled away and licked his lips of any blood smeared on them.

"We're gonna move this upstairs. Your room" Robbie said as their foreheads hit before nearly dropping Dipper onto the floor. He headed upstairs after getting his jacket without the younger one, leaving him to tend the wound before continuing on. To keep it from dripping on the floor, Dipper held up his sleeve to the wound and let the blood absorb into the elastic fibers. It was tragedy and he made a mental note to properly dispose of the undershirt honorably as it was his favorite. The teen then followed the other upstairs but instead went to the bathroom to cover up the fresh wound. The other teen could try to find his room while he waited. So Dipper went into the bathroom, opened the mirrored cabinet, grabbed a small tuft of cotton, disinfectant, and a bandage. He winced the first time the disinfectant wet cotton dabbed his lip but stayed stoic the rest of the time. He wiped away the blood that tried to replace the old blood with a wad of toilet paper then skillfully placed the bandage over the wound before anymore would flood out.

"It'd suck if this is what killed me...fucking bleed out..." Dipper continued to mumble obscurities the entire time he walked to his room up. He pulled his double layered shirt off, not bothering to retrieve his beanie from it, and threw it off to the side once he got to his room. He heard snickering coming from his bed and looked over to see Robbie lying on his bed shirtless. He was well-built, his chest was a firm 6 pack covered with noticeably trimmed black chest hair

"Work out much?" The older teen laughed. Yes, Dipper wasn't incredibly athletic, all he would really need to have done is tone, but who has time for that when studying is a true necessity. Robbie then sat up on the edge of the bed and undid his jeans zipper, revealing his penis. "Alright, time for a blow job."

"What? No! Bad enough i'm the one who's probably gonna get fucked tonight-"

"Well I forgot to grab some lube before I left! So unless you want your ass tearing open, I recommend using a lot of spit." Dipper sighed at the notion and felt the embarrassing need to pull out the condoms in hopes they were well lubricated enough to prevent such a thing violating his mouth as well.

"Here, I have a better idea. Will this do?" Dipper opened the drawer next to his bed and shuffled the contents around until he found the box of condoms Wendy gave him. He tore it open and retrieve one of the gold film covered squares.

"You actually think that's gonna work?" The older adult laughed

"Well it's better than sucking on your sweaty, dirty cock. That, and I don't want to get any diseases you have." Dipper remarked snarkly.

"Oh it does not look THAT bad does it?" Robbie said as he picked his dick up into his left hand and wriggled it at the city boy. "It's not even that big, just 4 and a half inches, suck it up man. And if it makes ya feel any better, Penises are one of the cleanest body parts since we spend so much time scrubbing it down to keep from getting infections and shit." Dipper's shoulders shifted down a bit as he began to think over his options. "Would you prefer it if I fucked one of your fat rolls?" This comment enraged Dipper.

"I'M NOT-UGH! Fine! I'll suck your fucking dick okay! Just shut up!" Dipper threw the wrapped condom at the man as he walked closer and got on his knees before him. He could hear the taller man lightly snickering, Dipper knew his rival was enjoying this sudden welsh of power he had.

"To be able to become an expert with the penis, you must touch the penis, learn to love the Penis, now. Suck it." Dipper placed his right hand on the floor for leverage and his left hand onto Robbie's hardening penis and lightly squeezed it. He stared at it for a moment and took in a deep breath.

"I'm gonna bite it off if you don't shut up! "

"Look, I'll shut the hell up if you just do whatever I say you need to do. I have way more experience in this than you do."

"Fine." The nervous teen slowly lowered his mouth closer to the pinked tip, small beads of sweat formed across Dipper's forehead from the tension of the situation. He felt that Robbie's hands began to hover around his head and Dipper panned his eyes upward to see if the older teen was looking back at him. Robbie's eyes shifted away from Dipper's gaze the moment they lingered. But the punk responded by entwining his fingers in Dipper's knotted locks and attempted to pull the boy's head closer to the head of his penis. It was now pressed against's Dipper's lips and he could feel it lightly throbbing against the sealed route. He finally opened his mouth and licked around the foreskin, wincing at the odd taste. But Dipper was given little time to hesitate as Robbie pushed the Boy's head closer and made him take at least half of it into his mouth. Dipper's eyes widened but he simply went along with it and started to suck on it. The grip on his head loosened and he was able to push away and start bobbing his head along it. As soon as Robbie let go, Dipper removed his mouth from his penis and started licking the side of it. Moving down the base slowly and lightly sucked at a vein that pulsed out, he then returned to the head of the penis to avoid going anywhere closer to the ballsack or the pubes.

Dipper was greeted with the salty taste of pre-cum forming a small bead at the entrance of the urethra. He continued to suck and increasingly sucked harder until Robbie emitted a quiet grunt. His penis twitched and as Dipper felt this light motion, he attempted to pull away but was too late and Robbie ejaculated straight into his mouth and made him start to gag. Dipper removed his mouth and turned to the side coughing and gagging harshly, a substantial amount had stayed on Robbie's dick. The city boy tried to cover his mouth to prevent any sperm getting onto the rug he was on but it spurted out through the cracks between his fingers, forming a small splattered puddle.

"Just wipe it off on the rug porn star." Robbie said in a rushed tone as he lightly kicked Dipper. This only earned him a glare. "Uggh, then take off your pants and wipe it off on them if you want to be discreet about this shit." The younger went along with this offer and did so, instead with his briefs to make up for any lost time. Dipper then got onto the head of the bed that was opposite of where Robbie sat on it, his body fully exposed. The punk immediately got closer to the chubbier boy and topped him, wrapping his hand around the boy's dick, fitting almost perfectly had it been a bit smaller. He wasted no time and started pumping it immediately to get it aroused. Dipper grabbed onto Robbie's shoulder and let his grip tighten once his own penis hardened. Dipper's breaths became shaky as he felt something rubbing the entrance of his anus. It was a finger that was rubbing and lightly pushing the sensitive skin, causing the city boy to whimper and bite the inside of his cheek in pleasure. Suddenly, Robbie pushed away from him and left the boy spry on the bed.

"Hey, where are you-"

"Getting something, cool your shit-" A few moments passed by and Dipper's eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds only to be reawakened by a splash of water to his face. This phased Dipper but he regained focus in a split second. The older man had thrown a water bottle the side and had a jar of petroleum jelly in hand.

"Asshole!"

"I know what I'm doing, this is for your sake, turn over, butt in the air." The punk no doubtabley received a perplexed glare but won regardlessly. Dipper followed the given order and got into the requested position, his face turned sideways onto a pillow. He felt a hand be placed on his left cheek and then a finger coated in a slick substance was suddenly shoved into his rectum, making him squeak and let out a series of grunts and silent moans as the finger rhythmically cascaded in and out with the Gel to help pass it through. The moans got louder as another finger entered him, then a third. Dipper clawed at the bed spread and dug his knees in deeper into the sheets that were getting damp from dealing with sweat and falling globs of Petroleum. He dug his face into the pillow harder and let out a forcibly weakened whimper. " Alright, whether your ready or not, its time to pop this fucker in." Robbie said as he removed his fingers Dipper could only breathlessly nod his head in reply. Soon a member, not-so-foreign-to-his-mouth, met with the rim of Dipper's anus still loose from it's fingering. There were a few seconds where nothing happened. As if Robbie started hesitating.

"Robbie?" Dipper managed to speak calmly.

"Saying this now, this is gonna hurt. Scream into your pillow and bite it if you need to. There will be blood." He felt Robbie readjust himself and his hands firmly grasp his hips. Then Dipper let out a loud scream that was muffled by the pillow. His nails dug into the woven cloth and his teeth bore into the cushion. Robbie pushed and pulled into and out of Dipper, never pulling all the way out. The younger adult could feel pearls of sweat forming and falling from the brow of his forehead to accompany the tears rolling from his eyes. The punk was going at a quick pace, further implying that he was in a rush, but Dipper could feel how tight his asshole was gripping the throbbing penis and it felt like it was tearing him up. He couldn't keep his position up and soon his knees started to give out on him and slowly inch down. Robbie huffed harder at this, clung close to Dipper's body, and pulled each other onto their sides. Dipper gritted his teeth harder and swore at himself for seeming like nothing more than a rag doll when it came to sex as he did nothing but let out pained noises and laid almost still. But soon, things came naturally as once the pain faded off, Dipper grabbed his own unsatisfied penis and started pumping it himself as Robbie had left the job unfinished. His grip suddenly turned harder as a sharp pain coursed through his neck. Robbie was biting him, this was proved by the small trickle of blood that slid down close to the city boy's shoulder blades. Fearing the worse, Dipper elbowed him and tried pushing him away but Robbie had held the city boy tighter and starting playing with the younger's erect nipples. Pinching them and tugging at them, Dipper was able to pay no mind to the fact Robbie was now sucking at the presumed bite marks he made. He reached the full mark of inebriation as he felt like his entire being was floating away, so the younger boy put his free hand on the sheets and tore at the sheets. "Say my name-"

"What-"

"Say my name Dipper." Robbie commanded. Dipper attempted to speak, only able to release an airy squeak. so he breathed in before speaking again.

"R-Robbie! Hgn! Robbie!" Dipper's voice cracked he reached a peak and felt a discharge pour into his palm. He ignored it and held onto the sheets, feeling the sticky liquid squish into his palms and the fabric. Robbie made an audible grunt and suddenly slowed down, stopping to pull out of the boy. Dipper hadn't become numb to the sensation and felt small droplets of sperm be left behind. The city boy felt faint and it seemed Robbie was moving too fast for comfort. By the time Dipper managed to sit up, Robbie had already put his boxers and pants on. "Gotta split, it's almost 1." The punk said pulling over his v-neck.

"Yeah whatever, just get out of my house." Dipper said as he looked at the sheets that had scattered specks of blood and a small puddle of his own sperm where he was once over. Soon Robbie was in his entire attire, spare his jacket that was in his hand, at this point Dipper had fallen back into his former position with the pillow flipped over to its clean side and the bed sheet of the side. The wound on his shoulder had failed to stop bleeding but had noticeably bled less than when it had first started. A sudden black cloth and series of shoulder pats, then the sound of sheets fluttering down and the feeling of them falling on his body.

"This won't really stop the bleeding but it should slow things down. But, congratulations, you are no longer a virgin." Robbie said in pride.

"Hip hip hoo-fucking-rah." Dipper mumbled into his pillow. Robbie spent no time dawdling and went towards the window, he opened it and placed a leg on the ledge, yet was unable to exit as he stopped to look at the boy a last time. Dipper put a hand on a sleeve that was poking out from beneath the sheets and noticed it was Robbie's jacket.

"W-wait, this is your's."

"Nah, I don't need it where I'm going. That and I need an alibi to where I was so my folks don't nag on me. If they come over an ask, just tell em' we were playing games with Wendy. She's got me covered." His body was now outside and only being supported by the ledge. "And Dip, chill out. That things gonna get you more babes than that dingy vest of yours." Robbie shuts the window and finally leaves. Dipper is left in the dark, only the light flooding in from the curtin-less window and the dim red light of the alarm clock. He's tired and exhausted with no energy left to even ponder on the events that had seemed to happen so quickly. He was only able to remember the fact there was no window ledge to stand on, nor any platform for the older adult to jump to without seriously hurting himself before passing out.  
_

The sound of rapid footsteps woke Dipper from the nightmare that was plaguing him, only to wake him to a worse pain in his ass. The door swung open and little feet clopped to his bed side and the squeals of a pig was there to greet him. This was presumably the pig Waddles Mabel won years ago. His once diminutive 15-pound stance now accompanied by an extra 70 pounds. His pudgy face was shoved right into the boy's and sniffing it to remember the boy

"Look who I found to come and waaake you!" A delighted voice said echoing from the door of the room.

"Oh god Mabel not now..." Dipper said groggily. His entire body felt warmer than usual and it screamed for him not to move at all.

"C'mon, it's time for you to get up! it's already like 11 in the afternoon! You've slept most of the day away!" Mabel's footsteps got closer and the pig was removed from its spot and set aside. The pig wandered off back out the door after taking a shirt with it. She pulled away the sheets that were wrapped around his face which caused his hands to immediately cover his eyes to protect them from the blinding light.

"leave me alone, I'm not in the mood to do shit today..."

"Huh, hold on a second, this isn't your jacket..." Dipper froze.

"N-NOpe, this is mine, i-i'm sure of it"

"I'm not, this so isn't your style. And it looks really old and raged."

"Well of c-course, it's Robbie's. He gave. It. To me before we left!" Dipper was obviously lying.

"I'm sure he made it really clear he hated you before we left." The older sister continued to question.

"N-nope, We're cool now"

"Well how could that be? Your not friends on Facebook and nobody but Grunkle Stan Knew we were coming. The only reason Wendy knew we were coming at all before any of the others knew was because she was there when we called him to tell him we were coming and last night, she told me she hadn't told anyone at all that we were coming!-"

"Mabel stop! Your repeating yourself! And what do you mean She didn't tell anyone!" This was getting strange, the younger twin thought.

"Yeah! She didn't even tell Soos! And while we were out last night, she forgot her phone at the Mystery Shack!" Dipper's eyes widen. There could have been no way Robbie knew he was here unless Wendy was lying.

"But why are you getting so panicky? It's not like anyone came over riiiiiight?"

"No! Of course not! I-I was alone-all night!" Mabel plopped herself on the end of the bed.

"Then get up." Dipper stopped.

"I. No, I don't need to."

"Yes you do. Gotta watch the shack with me today. Now come on. Sitting up isn't too hard. Unless you need a butt papping to help you warm-up."

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES OH YEEES! I'M GONNA PAP THE BUUUUUUUUUUUUTT!" There was a quick, double-palmed slap to Dipper's butt which caused him to scream through his gritted teeth. Mabel was snickering at this. "Aw brooo, You okay, did you do something last night that I need to know about?"

"No! Nothing happened at all!"

"Then why do you have a bandage on your lip, blood smeared on your sheets, a raging refusal to stay down, and while yesterday when we left, you were just fine, but now your sick as a dog?"

"Okay Mabel, You can stop interrogating me. I had...sex last night, But I didn't enjoy it!" Dipper said adding the last part quickly.

"I know. But who was it with?"

"It was-wait. How do you know that." Dipper dreaded asking.

"I over-heard your conversation. Actually, I didn't really know what you were doing until you told me just now. You see, truth is, I ditched the group while Grunkle Stan was picking the lock of an old antique shop to go visit Candy and Grenda. But, ironically enough, both me and Wendy forgot our cellphones back at the Mystery Shack. So when she caught me trying to sneak away to go back to the shack to get my Cell then see the girls, she asked if I could get hers too, I agreed of course. But it took FOREVER to get here by foot, so by the time I got here I was exhausted, so I decided to take a quick rest on a chair in the storage room, where I left my cell phone. However, that rest turned into a snooze and I was only awakened by you suddenly moaning. Worried, I rushed upstairs, trying not to be to loud to avoid being heard if someone were there hurting you so they wouldn't run away so I could call the cops if I needed to. When the moment I got up to the top of the stairs, I heard you talking with someone, I stopped and put my ear up to the door to listen. I heard a veeeerrry familiar voice, one of deeper octave, Robbie! But then I realized that this couldn't be right, Robbie didn't have any idea that you or I were here, but seeing you with his jacket has confirmed my suspicion that it was definitely Robbie that was in your room with you. So I was wondering what was going on though, but then with the combination of you moaning and screaming, and the missing jar of petroleum jelly from the bathroom cabinet, I put the pieces together that you were having sex."

"You know what? I am speechless. Just holy mother of god no wonder we're the mystery twins. But did you really just sit there and listen to us the entire time?" Mabel nodded her head in response. "That's creepy Mabel. You're a legitament Voyeurist."

"Yea I got no response to that."

"Well never mind that for now, so what your telling me is that Wendy never told anyone we're here, in fact she didn't have her cellphone on her?"

"Yes."

"You have to be lying. Robbie told me that Wendy sent him."

"Nope, I swear it. Didn't even tell her we were coming online."

There was a short moment of silence.

"I'm so gonna talk to her when I can move again." Dipper mumbled into his pillow.

"Oh she's already here, she came in early, i'll go get her right now!"

"Wait WAIT WAIT! MABEL NO!" With that last comment Mabel was already out the door and down the stairs. The minute she took to get Wendy was spent in anxiety and he tried his damnest to put on a poker face. But his blushing red face was failing him fast. The sound of foot steps quickly escalating up the stairs sent him into a panic. He just thanked god that the douchbag who'd visited him last night had the decency to cover him up.

"So I heard from someone that something I should hear about went down here last night?" Wendy's voice came from the further side of the room and started getting closer.

"Oh my god this is embarrassing.." Dipper further buried his face into the pillow. "After this, I never want this matter to be brought up between any of us ever again. Don't even think about mentioning this to Grunkle Stan."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Wendy walked over to Mabel's bed and sat down on the quilted blanket that decorated the top of it. "So I can tell by the jacket that Robbie was here?"

"Yeah. Who did you tell?"

"Look Dipper! I didn't tell anyone, and you can trust Mabel's story, I was with Grunkle Stan and Soos the entire time! Not once did I pull my cellphone out because I didn't have it with me. I Forgot it on the counter after you gave me your number. The last time I even spoke to him was two days ago."

"Well this can just be something we attend to later, I'm in no mood to fight and I just want to rest..."

"Can I ask you something before I go then?" Wendy said after a period of silence.

"Sure."

"This is kind of ironic if anything, but this morning when I came int work, I got my phone and checked my messages, and my boy texted me he 'need some space' and broke up with me, again. He'd fickle as fuck and I think there's something with him cause this is the 4th chance I've given him. So I thought about it and considered this, would you like to go out for an apology/chum date? I mean if your still BUTT-HURT about this whole deal I understand."

"..."

"...I'm just gonna ignore that comment and accept the date."

"Sweet then. Friday night if your feeling better I'll meet you at the movies?"

"Sure. So..just for future reference, you don't think I'm gay right?"

"No, Why?"

"No reason."

* * *

(A/N);All right, well, there was my contribution to the Ripper/Dippie/Robber (seriously, I can't decide what name I like better. ) pairing. This has got to be the first 1-shot I've ever been hell-bent on finishing. Sorry if the ending seems kinda shotty, but that just means I need some criticism. So please leave helpful review telling how I can improve because I felt like I kinda fell flat on the actual sex scene from all the build up. But to end this on an odd note, I'm considering doing another story kinda connected to this concerning Dipper thinking or trying to prove that Robbie is a vampire so you can either look forward to that or just follow what I'm thinking that there won't be one at all. Merely just some fan art or concept scenes. So, I bid thee farewell 'til next time and Happy new year. Happy new year to everyone. Oh, and Mary Bellum Pines isn't here full name, I was just throwing in headcanon for humor.


End file.
